I think Brandon Roy is good, but I can't tell. Maybe there is a clue in this video from last nights game vs. the Rockets.
I had the pleasure of attending the early candidate for NBA Game of the Year; last night's Blazers/Rockets overtime masterpiece at the Rose Garden.
I won't say I left the game speechless ("That was fucking DIRTY!" and "Wow!" both count as prmitive forms of speech), but my ability to form coherent thoughts that didn't end in an exclamation point was severely hampered up until about 15 minutes ago.
And thinking back on it now, I'm not sure my full range of speaking-motion has totally returned. I can still come up with only one way to describe the events that transpired during the final 1.9 seconds of that game:
WOW.
The last 2 seconds of that game took me on an emotional roller coaster that made the stock market over the past month look like a bastion of stability in comparison.
Since I'm still not quite ready to discuss this game fully, let me just give you a quick recap of my emotions, and the things the ran through my head (and out my mouth) at that exact moment:
1.9 seconds left: "Brandon Roy! Game winner! Over Artest! Suck it Rockets! You got NOTHING!!!" (Happiness: 9.7 out of 10)
0.8 seconds left: "What the shit?!?! Motherfucking Yao Ming with the turnaround jumper... and 1? You've got to be kidding. After ALL THAT. And, goddamn you, Bennett Salvatore! I knew you'd screw us in the end!" (Happiness: 0.2/10)
0.0 seconds left: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! HE MADE IT!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE MADE THAT!!!! "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Furious high-fiving ensues. (Happiness: 11.3/10)
Yeah, that was fun.
Showing posts with label Borderline Offensive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Borderline Offensive. Show all posts
Friday, November 7, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I Have A Fever
And the only prescription?
More Blazers.
Tonight I get to finally go to my favorite pharmacy, the Rose Garden. There, the pharmacists will be passing out drugs like candy, and I'll be swallowing them down by the handful. And, while it will do wonders to quell my rising fever in the short term, in the end it'll just make me an addict.
Unfortunately, unlike most addicts, I will have an addiction to more than just one simple, over the counter drug. I'll most likely be hooked on a cocktail of drugs so powerful and so diverse that it'd take a team of doctors years to concoct an antidote.
But, I have absolutely zero interest in an anecdote. Seriously, who in there right mind wouldn't want to consume as much Blazer as possible? It's the greatest drug you'll ever get a taste of, and it's absolutely FREE! All you need to do is sit back, take a deep breath, and huff as much Blazer info as possible. Then exhale, and enjoy a sudden rush of uncontrollable excitement, followed by an intense feeling of euphoria as you lie back and giggle to yourself at the thought of Greg Oden dunking on a hapless Andrew Bynum, or Rudy Fernandez flying towards the hoop as he catches a mesmerizing alley-oop from fellow Spaniard Sergio Rodriguez!
Of course, that's just the low-level, street quality stuff. Now that the Blazers are "in season", you can pony up a little cash, get yourself some cable television and feast on the very quality "Comcast" strain. It's great for first time users (hooray for gateway drugs!), and will never leave you unsatisfied. With this strain, you get the same rush of uncontrollable excitement followed by intense euphoria, only the excitement isn't so "sudden" as it comes at you in 4 distinct stages, and lasts over 2 hours. Each stage (or "quarter" as it's called on the streets) brings a higher and higher level of excitement, finally reaching a level of excitement SO high that you will lose complete control over your body, and begin to randomly high five every person you can find. This extreme level of excitement then leads to a very similar feeling as the street drug, although in the Comcast strain, it lasts for upwards of a day. It also has the peculiar habit of bringing back bursts of excitement whenever you encounter someone else on the same drug as you.
The Comcast strain is very good. It comes highly recommended from even the most seasoned Blazer users. While other options may offer a more intense "high" and a overall greater feeling of euphoria, no strain is more readily available in the Portland metro area than the "Comcast" variety. (Note: For users outside of the Portland metro area, call you local dealers and DEMAND that they begin carrying this strain. While the dealers might balk at the cost, there IS demand, and they will turn a profit. These drugs practically sell themselves!)
The next step up brings you to the top end stuff. First we'll start with the common (and quite fantastic in it's own right) "Live Game" Blazer strain that has caused more serious, lifelong addiction than any drug I've ever encountered. While Comcast can be a gateway to other drugs (watch out for the incredibly powerful "Ducks", a common stepping stone drug) , the Live Game will really get you cracked out on Blazer. It's the stuff I rode hard last year, and really made me appreciate the nuances of the different Blazers. It gave me a whole new appreciation for the differences in the quality and impact of each strain.
It completely changed my life. It made me feind for Blazer, and not just any ol' run of the mill Blazer. It made me threaten to live outside my means just so I could get the greatest fix possible.
Because, if you really want the good stuff (and I mean the GOOOOD stuff) you gotta go straight to the source. You gotta get that real nice "Season Ticket" Blazer. While I've never tried it before, I've heard nothing but good things. An unparalleled rush, and a high so high, that you may truly never come down.
And guess, what? I got the hookup on some good Season Ticket stuff, and I'm about to try it tonight for the first time. And this might be some of the strongest Blazer anyone has seen in quite a while.
Boy, I can't wait.
More Blazers.
Tonight I get to finally go to my favorite pharmacy, the Rose Garden. There, the pharmacists will be passing out drugs like candy, and I'll be swallowing them down by the handful. And, while it will do wonders to quell my rising fever in the short term, in the end it'll just make me an addict.
Unfortunately, unlike most addicts, I will have an addiction to more than just one simple, over the counter drug. I'll most likely be hooked on a cocktail of drugs so powerful and so diverse that it'd take a team of doctors years to concoct an antidote.
But, I have absolutely zero interest in an anecdote. Seriously, who in there right mind wouldn't want to consume as much Blazer as possible? It's the greatest drug you'll ever get a taste of, and it's absolutely FREE! All you need to do is sit back, take a deep breath, and huff as much Blazer info as possible. Then exhale, and enjoy a sudden rush of uncontrollable excitement, followed by an intense feeling of euphoria as you lie back and giggle to yourself at the thought of Greg Oden dunking on a hapless Andrew Bynum, or Rudy Fernandez flying towards the hoop as he catches a mesmerizing alley-oop from fellow Spaniard Sergio Rodriguez!
Of course, that's just the low-level, street quality stuff. Now that the Blazers are "in season", you can pony up a little cash, get yourself some cable television and feast on the very quality "Comcast" strain. It's great for first time users (hooray for gateway drugs!), and will never leave you unsatisfied. With this strain, you get the same rush of uncontrollable excitement followed by intense euphoria, only the excitement isn't so "sudden" as it comes at you in 4 distinct stages, and lasts over 2 hours. Each stage (or "quarter" as it's called on the streets) brings a higher and higher level of excitement, finally reaching a level of excitement SO high that you will lose complete control over your body, and begin to randomly high five every person you can find. This extreme level of excitement then leads to a very similar feeling as the street drug, although in the Comcast strain, it lasts for upwards of a day. It also has the peculiar habit of bringing back bursts of excitement whenever you encounter someone else on the same drug as you.
The Comcast strain is very good. It comes highly recommended from even the most seasoned Blazer users. While other options may offer a more intense "high" and a overall greater feeling of euphoria, no strain is more readily available in the Portland metro area than the "Comcast" variety. (Note: For users outside of the Portland metro area, call you local dealers and DEMAND that they begin carrying this strain. While the dealers might balk at the cost, there IS demand, and they will turn a profit. These drugs practically sell themselves!)
The next step up brings you to the top end stuff. First we'll start with the common (and quite fantastic in it's own right) "Live Game" Blazer strain that has caused more serious, lifelong addiction than any drug I've ever encountered. While Comcast can be a gateway to other drugs (watch out for the incredibly powerful "Ducks", a common stepping stone drug) , the Live Game will really get you cracked out on Blazer. It's the stuff I rode hard last year, and really made me appreciate the nuances of the different Blazers. It gave me a whole new appreciation for the differences in the quality and impact of each strain.
It completely changed my life. It made me feind for Blazer, and not just any ol' run of the mill Blazer. It made me threaten to live outside my means just so I could get the greatest fix possible.
Because, if you really want the good stuff (and I mean the GOOOOD stuff) you gotta go straight to the source. You gotta get that real nice "Season Ticket" Blazer. While I've never tried it before, I've heard nothing but good things. An unparalleled rush, and a high so high, that you may truly never come down.
And guess, what? I got the hookup on some good Season Ticket stuff, and I'm about to try it tonight for the first time. And this might be some of the strongest Blazer anyone has seen in quite a while.
Boy, I can't wait.
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