That wasn't so bad, now...was it?

So, like most NBA fans, I spent the weekend watching the NBA’s attempt to show off their best and brightest over the course of a weekend full of events that generally range from unwatchable to intermittently entertaining (with a few notable exceptions). How did this years festivities all turn out you ask? Well I'm glad you asked. So, without further ado, I present to you my somewhat in-depth review/critique of each and every event that mattered to anyone (sorry Celebrity Game and whatever they call that worthless NBA/WNBA shooting thing).

PS: Yes, I’m pretending someone cared about the Skills Competition.

Rookie Game

The Rookie Game is always mildly entertaining, if for no other reason than to know what basketball would look like if defense were entirely outlawed. It’s a fun enough game, simply because it’s always great to see some of the games brightest young stars screw around and show off their immense skills for a while. The real problem is that they insist on calling this a basketball game, as it’s been 5 years since the Rookies had a chance to win, and both teams refuse to play any semblance of defense. That being said, this year’s game was particularly… well… average.

There were some nice dunks, a few fancy passes, and some impressive 3 point shooting, but overall, the game lacked the pizzazz of past Rookie Games. Even with all the young talent in the game (and trust me, there was some), there was a serious lack of true star power. Maybe it’s because we’ve had back-to-back drafts that have yielded maybe 4 franchise level players (Roy, Gay, Durant, Oden) and Greg Oden didn’t play due to injury. Most of the other talent in the game are all gonna land somewhere between “quality role player” and “starter on a good team” when we look back on their career. Players like Rajon Rondo, Jordan Farmar, Al Horford, LaMarcus Aldridge, Daniel Gibson, and Mike Conley are all very good players, but all play mostly complimentary roles on their teams, and you could see that in the way the game played out. Even the “stars” like Brandon Roy and Rudy Gay aren’t exactly “give me the ball and get out of the way” kind of players. All this led to a lot of players trying to play an up and down, show-boating style that they aren’t used to, and trying to make spectacular plays that aren’t really the strength of their games.

Now, Rudy Gay had some pretty spectacular dunks (including catching an alley-oop from Roy he had no business catching), Daniel Gibson got hot from 3 point range hitting 11 3's (is that good?), and Brandon Roy looked solid throughout, while obviously saving himself for the big boy game. Kevin Durant showed why everyone was so excited about him coming into this season (he’s pretty good at this basketball thing), with a good overall performance including 23 points, some highlight reel dunks, and some freakishly long arms. All in all, it was worth watching, but I’m not going to shoot myself if I miss it next year.

Some quick thoughts about the game:

• Rudy Gay is athletic (in case you were wondering)


• Daniel Gibson was good, but not AMAZING. People were giving him 3’s, and my, oh my, was he taking them (20 shots, all 3’s!)


• Andrea Bargnani is playing softer than his name (that’s not good). By default, he should be the toughest Andrea in basketball. I’m guessing he’s not.


• This crop of rookies is better than we give them credit for, but still have a ways to go to catch up to the Sophs. Durant is legit, Horford is a beast, but the rest are a year away from having any sort of real impact on the league.

Overall, I think it’s a good idea for a game, although something just seems to be missing. Maybe it’s time for a format tweak, but I don’t think there is a logical way to do that. I think it’s best to just accept its shortcomings, leave as is, and hope for an upset every once in a while. The final score is not that important anyways. The best part is seeing young rising stars show off, have fun, and get rooted on by their big-brother All-Stars, and that’s just fine for me.

GRADES
Overall: B+ This Year: C+

Skills Challenge

If there was ever an event that just screamed “who cares”, this is it. Deron Williams won, ason Kidd made an appearance, and Dwayne Wade forgot how to play basketball for a few little bit. Chris Paul? Yeah, he was in it, but he didn’t win, or screw up, so who cares? Basically, this event was about 3 things to me:

• Dwayne Wade obviously quitting on the event after he knew he wasn’t going to win. He dribbled off of his foot, missed a couple jumpers, and then flat out quit. He just tossed his last few shot attempts towards the basket, then half-assed his way through the rest of the course, followed by missing not one, but two(!) lay-ups to cap an embarrassing performance. PATHETIC. If you’re a superstar, and the NBA invites you to participate in an event like that, you’ve got to at least try! I mean, I understand that you’re a competitor, you wanted to 3-peat, and that after you dribbled off your foot, it was all but over. But, come on! It’s a 1 minute long obstacle course! If I were the NBA, I wouldn’t invite him back next year, or any year (Although after this debacle, he might enjoy that. In which case, David Stern should Rasheed him, and make him participate).


• “At point guard, standing 6'4" tall, out of the University of California… ason Kidd!” Enjoy that championship run Dallas. Just hope your season doesn’t come down to your point guard being able to hit an open jump shot.


• As good as Deron Williams looked in this glorified (was it even that?) obstacle course, was it really all that impressive? Sure, it’s not that easy to make those passes, and hit a jump shot on command, but is there any doubt in your mind that any run-of-the-mill college guard could do just as good? It seems like it always comes down to who screwed up least. yay.

Now, as you can see, I am a BIG fan of this event [if by "am a BIG fan of" is the same as "don't particualarly care about"... which it is, right?]. That being said, it’s not all that bad, for one simple reason. It lasted all of 15 minutes. On top of that, it's simple to understand and is indeed a nice combination of point guard skills. So, I could take it or leave it. If the NBA is set on keeping it around, just leave it as is, and don’t put too much stock in the winner. Maybe next year, more than two people can actually display "skills."

GRADES
Overall: C This Year: D+

3-Point Shootout

OK, now here we get into the tried and true events that have been a staple of All-Star Weekend since its inception way back when (??). The 3-Point Shootout has definitely had its moments (Larry Bird anyone?), and most of them have definitely occurred prior to this decade. So, possessing a competition that’s struggled in recent years, David Stern decided to infuse a little star power into this years events, in hopes of resuscitating the dying event. In steps league MVP’s Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki (replacing an even bigger star in kobe bryant). Combine those two heavyweights, with the defending champ (Jason Kapono), a former 2-time winner (Peja), a young gun coming off a rookie game record 11 3’s (Gibson) and a masked villain (Rip Hamilton), and you got yourselves what should be an exciting competition that might actually live up to the “Shootout” in it’s name.

Unfortunately, the competition was over very quickly. How quickly? Well, luckily I was able to find a photo of the exact moment that Jason Kapono sealed up his second straight 3-Point Shootout crown (see right).

Yep, the moment Jason Kapono stepped off the bus, and arrived at New Orleans Arena, it was over. With all the hype of superstars, past winners, and face gear, everyone was calling for an upset of the reigning champ. Why? He’s the reigning champ for a reason, and that reason is The Kapono Dragon can flat out shoot the ball (exemplified by his remarkable performance in last years event). Second, every other competitor had an obvious reason why their ability to win the competition was suspect, at best.

Gibson is talented, as shown in the warm-up round, er… Rookie Game, but too young to not expect some nerves in a big spotlight such as this. Peja hasn’t been remotely healthy in years, so expecting the Peja of old to miraculously appear on demand would be foolish. Rip Hamilton has long been one of the best shooters of our era, but I can’t for the life of me remember him EVER being called a 3-point shooter. Meanwhile, Dirk and Nash are too busy winning MVP’s and trying the snatch the BIG trophy at the end of the season, to care about the little ones handed out halfway through.

Meanwhile, The Dragon has been spending the last 2+ seasons resting comfortably atop the leagues 3-point % charts, and is coming off of a record setting performance in last years competition. Throw in the fact that this is the event that will not only define his season, but maybe even his career, and you have yourselves a heavy favorite. The only knock on him is that he’s not Euro enough to follow in the footsteps of Dirk and Peja. Nitpicking to say the least (Although, I do think a name change is in order if he wins another one. My vote is for Jason Kaponeux. Sounds French.)

So, the contest went down as (should have been) expected, with each competitor struggling for a rack or two in round 1, while apparently trying to score exactly 17 points (If Peja hits his last money ball, and Rip can stay behind the line, we would have had a 4 way tie for 2 spots in the finals. At least then we’d have seen some drama). Meanwhile, Nash mailed it in, and Kopono easily cruised into the Finals with a smooth 21.

In the finals, Dirk stunk it up, Boobie got his 17 again, and The Dragon set an event record with his 25 points on 20 of 25 shooting. Damn, now that was impressive. If only he’d of had someone to compete with, this might have been one for the ages. Instead, it was just another lackluster 3-Point Shootout, with one mighty impressive display of shooting ability that saved it from the trash heap. Ho-hum. I’d still rather watch Shaq.

GRADES
Overall: C+ This Year: C+

Dunk Contest

OK, now this is what I’m talking about!

Out of all the events on All-Star Weekend, the Slam Dunk Contest is always the most hyped, and almost always the most disappointing. But, every once in a while the Dunk Contest actually comes through. This was one of those contests. After a couple years of sub-par competitors performing sub-par dunks, it was about time for a break out year. Right on cue, Dwight Howard shows up and puts on the best show the contest has seen since Vince Carter in 2000. It was just a complete domination from start to finish. Just like Vince, the moment Dwight threw down that first dunk (the filthy off-the back of the backboard, left-handed windmill) you had the feeling the contest was just about over. Then, once he pulled out the Superman “dunk”, you KNEW it was over. After that, he could have made two lay-ins in the finals, and walked away with the trophy. The first two dunks were just that nasty.

Meanwhile, Gerald Green pulls off one of the most creative and impressive dunks I have ever seen, and is nothing but an afterthought. I’m here to tell you right now, that the Birthday Cake dunk was just flat out COOL. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s like the old “Kiss the Rim” dunk, with a little more theatrics, and a lot lower risk of serious head trauma. Too bad he had to pull it off opposite Superman. I guess someone had to play the Steve Francis role of “Great Contestant Who Gets Severely Overshadowed By A Freak Show.” That’s OK Gerald, you’ll always have last year.

What about Rudy Gay and Jamario Moon, the two guys that had the most pre-contest hype? Well, they proved once again, exactly what hype gets you… squat. Now, to be fair, they had some nice moments, especially Rudy’s off the basket support dunk, that would have been sweeeet, had Superman (or was he still Clark Kent at that point?) not already pulled off what was essentially a more impressive version of the same dunk. Sorry, buddy, not your year either. And, at least Jamario knew he needed to go BIG on his second attempt. He set it up well, and was able to get the arena buzzing, but just didn’t have it in him. Maybe next, year.

All in all, this years competition was EXACTLY what the NBA had in mind when they reintroduced the ABA's dunk contest, in 1984. Let’s see… how about we take some of the best athletes in the world [check], get them to do disgusting things that no one has ever seen (or hoped to see) [check!], and after all that, have the winner catapult himself to superstardom [CHECK!]. Yeah, you can just go ahead and chalk this one up in the Success column.

Anyways, I’m gonna finish this off with my personal 2008 Slam Dunk Contest Top 5 Best Dunks list.

[Drum Roll, please]

1. Off the Back of the Backboard – WOW! Not only did he catch the oop off the backside of the backboard, and not only was his head still behind the backboard when he threw it down, but he threw in a fierce left-handed windmill for good measure, and threw it down clean as can be. Oh, and did you notice the weird bounce he got off the throw? Yeah, sick. (I'm already penciling it into my Top 5 ever.)

2. Birthday Cake – Arguably the most impressive and creative. It’s exactly what the contest is all about, and shows off Gerald Greens freaky hops. (He’s the only person I’ve seen get as high as LeBron in a McDonalds All-American dunk contest, and that's saying something.)

3. Superman – Not actually a dunk, but the whole “event” of the dunk was so off the charts perfect, and the “dunk” was still so unrealistically awesome looking, that it was just plain ridiculous. And isn't it the same idea as a dunk if you can get so high above that basket that you can throw it through the hoop? That sure works for me. The only question that remains is, "How long ‘til the Superman fathead is available?", cause I might have to get me one.

4. Dwight on Tap (tap off the glass) – Pretty-god-damn-impressive is the only way to describe this dunk. The sheer athleticism it takes to even attempt this dunk is unreal. Of course, Superman made it look easy.

5. Rudy off the Support – This dunk is getting no love, mostly because it followed Dwight’s disgusting older-sibling. But, still, this was very impressive. Hey, if you’re gonna be a JV something, at least be a JV Superman.

And that list doesn’t even take into account the Mini Hoop dunk or the vastly underrated No-Shoes, Through the Legs jam. All in all, it was pretty damn good show, and the NBA should be proud. And, I can tell you one thing, you better believe I'm gonna tune in next year, and I have a feeling I’m not alone.

GRADES

Overall: B+ This Year: A