In case you haven't been made privy to this amazing information, I'm gonna let you in on it. Chris Bosh has a "girlfriend" (skeptical, we are). That, in and of itself, is newsworthy. However, even more newsworthy is the fact that this "girlfriend" has, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the
world's largest forehead. Some may prefer to call it a 5-head, or even a 6-head, because it is most definitely a notch or two above your run-of-the-mill 4-head. On this sentiment, I must wholeheartedly disagree. She, unequivocally, has a
12-head. There is no way around it. That thing is HUGE. There is more space between her eyebrows and hairline than there is between seats on most commuter flights and in most NBA arenas. If her 12-head were for rent in Manhattan, it'd be advertised as a "spacious 1-bedroom," and go for $2200/month. To say the least, it's "quite roomy". But, because you probably don't believe me, I sent out the Raef Is About Power Investigative Team
to capture photographic evidence. The results are amazing. See for your self.
The 12-head makes its first national TV appearance at a Raptors-Cavs game (yep,
that Raptors-Cavs game)
Observing the Rookie Challenge at All-Star Weekend
Just kickin' it at home with Chris Bosh
Voicing her displeasure with a questionable call at a recent Raptors game
Back at All-Star Weekend, wondering where the hair went
Posing for the 2008 Got Milk? Seattle Seahawks fan calendar (who knew she was a Seahawk fan?)
Making her pro wrestling debut on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
After "fornication", and before eating Chris Bosh for sustenance
and growing before our eyes
So, there you have it folks. Indisputable visual evidence of the only known living 12-head. It's OK to stare, just do so from a distance. While it may be hypnotizing, and even awe inspiring, it is no friend of yours. If you get too close, you will learn first hand the terrifying nature of this destructive power. Good luck, and godspeed.
2 comments:
that's kind of messed up dude. bashing some dude's girlfriend and questioning his sexuality is a bit...are we 12-years-old?
No, I'm 14. Once you yourself reach this magical age, you'll learn the difference between bashing and making light of. It's a subtlety only those who have graduated middle school can fully understand.
That being said.... Thanks for reading, and come back soon!
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